We want to be people that can bring people into healing and freedom, so we first must be free and healed ourselves; you can't lead people into being healed and whole if you have never allowed Jesus to take you into a place of healing and wholeness. When situations or relationships don't turn out as we would've liked, when betrayal, lies, abandonment, and abuse occur - to whatever degree - there is now a wound. Forgiveness is the first step, enabling God to soften our hearts and give us the power to say "I forgive you"; it's an extremely freeing and healing thing to do, but sometimes we need further healing.
There are many ways that our spirits can be wounded. We can be deeply cut by something someone says to us, because words have extreme power. Sometimes we face traumatic experiences, even from our childhood that could still be wounding us, maybe there is deep loss or sorrow caused by either death or promises that weren't kept. Sometimes we have wounds that are self inflicted like drug or alcohol addiction or sexual sins; we have forgiven ourselves, but there is still a deep wound. And sometimes we are hurt by words or actions from leadership, even within the church, we forgive, yet we still hurt.
So what do we do with all these wounds? It's actually really simple. We ask for and receive healing from Jesus. We tell Him how we have been hurt, check our hearts for any bitterness or unforgiveness, and ask Him to completely heal our wound. Sounds too good to be true, hm? Well, the difficult part is the emotions.
Feelings and emotions were never meant to guide us, truth was meant to guide us and then we train our feelings to follow. Yet more often than not, we allow our emotions to tell us how we feel and what we are thinking and whether or not we will listen to truth. Feelings only have as much influence as we allow them, and we have to train them to follow the truth. Walking in the truth requires us to go against old emotions, and sometimes it's very hard, but it results in true freedom.
This really made sense to me. Because I've had hard situations, I've forgiven, and I've asked for healing, and I still feel hurt or sad or insert-terrible-emotion-here. Now I know that when the lies come, and the enemy tries to get me to feel those crippling insert-terrible-emotions, I can train my emotions by walking out and speaking out truth. So simple, yet so challenging, yet SO freeing. I really practical application of this that we practiced this week was writing down the lie (I am worthless), then writing out what God says (I have value and worth in His eyes) and then write down the scripture to back it up (Matt. 10:30-31-"...not a single sparrow can fall to the grow without your Heavenly Father knowing, and all the hairs on your head are numbered, so don't be afraid, you are for more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows).
Something else that our teacher said that really stuck with me was: "If you aren't free to be hurt again, you aren't actually free." Meaning that if I am still reserved or fearful of being hurt again, then I still need to do some work on those wounds, because I want to be a person who is completely open and vulnerable, without fear, so I can be most effective in people's lives and not let my fear stand in the way of how God could use me.
God really brought to me this week that I struggle with the fear of failure and the fear of what other people think, or "fear of man". I fear making mistakes, disappointing others, and not knowing things, even really little things! I have to constantly set my fear and pride aside even when my friends explain something to me that I didn't know before, like helpful nutrition facts. All the sudden I feel threatened and insignificant because I didn't know that overeating tomatoes can cause oil build-up in your pores and cause acne. How dare me, right? Definitely should've known that. Hah. It gets ridiculous. But this is not who I want to be!
I asked God to heal me of any wounds in my past so that I would not be afraid anymore of failing or of what others think, only what God thinks, because He doesn't attach His love for me with my performance. Oh how grateful I am for that! God has put it in each of us a yearning to be accepted, loved, and secure, yet so often we look to people or things to satisfy this soul thirst when God intended to fill it the whole time! HE is the only one who can perfectly accept us, love us, and make us secure.
My desire is to be open and broken so that God can take me into a place of healing, so I can be a healing agent to others. I want to be "free to hurt" so I can be completely available to work with God wherever He wants me and with whoever He wants me to, and that doesn't mean it won't hurt, it means that when it does I will expose the lies, seek and ask Jesus for supernatural healing, and train my emotions to follow the truth that I'm walking in. Freedom!
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone,
Into the realm of the unknown, where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again, "oh you'll never win, you'll never win!"
But the voice of Truth tells me a different story
The voice of Truth says "do not be afraid"
And the voice of Truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of Truth
The stone was just the right size to put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus singing over me
-"Voice of Truth", Casting Crowns
This is my prayer for all of us, that we would listen to the voice of Truth and walk in the fullness of healing and wholeness that He has for us. Hallelujah!
I would love for you to be apart of how God is working in me and through me! Right now I need $1,300 of my tuition money in by February 27th (in three weeks). I know God is going to provide everything I need, it's in His character and He has called me to be here at this time and I want to invite you all into what God is doing here through partnering with me financially.
If you would like to donate you can click here. Payment for a student/SOMD/2016 I'm so excited to have you be apart of my team!
If you would like to be apart of my prayer team and receiver weekly prayer requests and updates you can email me at sacree01@gmail.com and I will add you to my team!
Thank you all so much!!!
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