Friday, December 11, 2015

When God says "I'm faithful." And I reply with "But..."

I'll be honest and say that I'm pretty nervous to write this post, but I felt like I was supposed to be very vulnerable with you all, so here it is. :)

God is faithful. He finishes what He has started. He is a great Father and a wonderful provider. I've read about these truths in the bible, but I've never really been in a position to where these simple words meant so much.

When I first began really thinking about going back to Orlando to do another school, I really was freaking out. I knew that I really didn't have any money left, and honestly? I hate asking people to give. It makes me feel like a burden, and I felt like people would think that I was being lazy or stealing their hard earned dollar, when I know what it takes to work so hard for your money.

I was talking this over with God and really pouring my heart out to Him and I'll never forget how gently He pointed out my pride. I realized that I cared so much about what people would think, that I was taking away an opportunity for them to invest and be apart of how God is using me to further His Kingdom.

When you give, a part of your heart goes with that investment, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." It may sound funny, but I never thought about this verse in the context of giving to missionaries and it really changed my perspective on what it really means to give and be apart of how God is using other people on the mission field. He really does give us each a role in the Great Commission and as all members of one body, we need all of us to function. Which means that He calls some of us to "Go", and some of us to stay and "Send" with encouragement and financial support, and each part is important. In order for some missionaries to go out, we need those who are missionaries in the work force to help send us and it was never designed to be a burden, it was always designed to keep us unified.

But my pride was only one of two things He pointed out to me that day.

"Do you trust me?" I remember so vividly sitting in the prayer room really feeling these words being pressed against my heart. He has been faithful in the past, I know this from personal experience in my life and in the lives of others, as well as His faithfulness written out in the Bible. And I know He is unchanging. He is trustworthy. I could feel Him so closely that night as I flipped through the pages of my little bible in the dark. I would come to Him with fears and uncertainty, and He would respond, "Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown...[v.4]...because you are precious to me. You are honored and I love you. Do not be afraid, for I am with you."

"But God, it doesn't make sense to come here and serve and work and not only not make money, but to raise support to do it! I don't have any money left!"
And His still small voice... "What is the price of two sparrows--one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows."

My heart began to soften but still I struggled. "God I trust you, I know you can provide, but I don't see how."
And again He comforted, "Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys those who take refuge in Him! Fear the Lord, you His godly people, for those who fear Him will have all they need. Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing." "Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. You parents--if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask Him."

There were so many more scriptures that He put in front of me that night, all proclaiming His goodness and His faithfulness, and I was left speechless. So here I am, trusting God because He is proven trustworthy, and let you guys in on a very vulnerable and fearful part of my heart because I really believe that God is moving and He is and will continue to do the miraculous and I want you all to be apart of this journey I'm on of learning to really "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding." So although the reality is that I need $3500 to be in missions training school for the next three months, and another $2000 to go on outreach, I know that Jesus is even more real than those numbers and I'm excited to be trusting in Him with all my heart.

If you feel led to give in anyway there is a link at the bottom of this post or you can mail it to me personally, whichever is easier. Something that God has taught me as well is that its not about the dollar amount, no amount is too small because God can and will multiply any gift, it's about the heart behind it and wanting to put your treasure where your heart is. One lady I met at a retirement home, Granny B, was an amazing example of this. She felt like God was leading her to give me $5 and she prayed over me and I was SO beyond blessed by her faithfulness and obedience to the Lord and I know He is going to multiply her gift and bless her and it absolutely lifted my spirits. He is good!! Thank you all so much for reading and please keep me in your prayers. Love you all! :)

If you would like to be apart of my journey through my prayer email chain you can contact me here: sacree01@gmail.com

If you would like to join my support team and help me financially through this season you can donate here

Payment for a student/Winter SOMD/2016

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