When God says "I'm faithful." And I reply with "But..."

I'll be honest and say that I'm pretty nervous to write this post, but I felt like I was supposed to be very vulnerable with you all, so here it is. :)

God is faithful. He finishes what He has started. He is a great Father and a wonderful provider. I've read about these truths in the bible, but I've never really been in a position to where these simple words meant so much.

When I first began really thinking about going back to Orlando to do another school, I really was freaking out. I knew that I really didn't have any money left, and honestly? I hate asking people to give. It makes me feel like a burden, and I felt like people would think that I was being lazy or stealing their hard earned dollar, when I know what it takes to work so hard for your money.

I was talking this over with God and really pouring my heart out to Him and I'll never forget how gently He pointed out my pride. I realized that I cared so much about what people would think, that I was taking away an opportunity for them to invest and be apart of how God is using me to further His Kingdom.

When you give, a part of your heart goes with that investment, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." It may sound funny, but I never thought about this verse in the context of giving to missionaries and it really changed my perspective on what it really means to give and be apart of how God is using other people on the mission field. He really does give us each a role in the Great Commission and as all members of one body, we need all of us to function. Which means that He calls some of us to "Go", and some of us to stay and "Send" with encouragement and financial support, and each part is important. In order for some missionaries to go out, we need those who are missionaries in the work force to help send us and it was never designed to be a burden, it was always designed to keep us unified.

But my pride was only one of two things He pointed out to me that day.

"Do you trust me?" I remember so vividly sitting in the prayer room really feeling these words being pressed against my heart. He has been faithful in the past, I know this from personal experience in my life and in the lives of others, as well as His faithfulness written out in the Bible. And I know He is unchanging. He is trustworthy. I could feel Him so closely that night as I flipped through the pages of my little bible in the dark. I would come to Him with fears and uncertainty, and He would respond, "Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown...[v.4]...because you are precious to me. You are honored and I love you. Do not be afraid, for I am with you."

"But God, it doesn't make sense to come here and serve and work and not only not make money, but to raise support to do it! I don't have any money left!"
And His still small voice... "What is the price of two sparrows--one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows."

My heart began to soften but still I struggled. "God I trust you, I know you can provide, but I don't see how."
And again He comforted, "Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys those who take refuge in Him! Fear the Lord, you His godly people, for those who fear Him will have all they need. Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing." "Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. You parents--if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask Him."

There were so many more scriptures that He put in front of me that night, all proclaiming His goodness and His faithfulness, and I was left speechless. So here I am, trusting God because He is proven trustworthy, and let you guys in on a very vulnerable and fearful part of my heart because I really believe that God is moving and He is and will continue to do the miraculous and I want you all to be apart of this journey I'm on of learning to really "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding." So although the reality is that I need $3500 to be in missions training school for the next three months, and another $2000 to go on outreach, I know that Jesus is even more real than those numbers and I'm excited to be trusting in Him with all my heart.

If you feel led to give in anyway there is a link at the bottom of this post or you can mail it to me personally, whichever is easier. Something that God has taught me as well is that its not about the dollar amount, no amount is too small because God can and will multiply any gift, it's about the heart behind it and wanting to put your treasure where your heart is. One lady I met at a retirement home, Granny B, was an amazing example of this. She felt like God was leading her to give me $5 and she prayed over me and I was SO beyond blessed by her faithfulness and obedience to the Lord and I know He is going to multiply her gift and bless her and it absolutely lifted my spirits. He is good!! Thank you all so much for reading and please keep me in your prayers. Love you all! :)

If you would like to be apart of my journey through my prayer email chain you can contact me here: sacree01@gmail.com

If you would like to join my support team and help me financially through this season you can donate here. 

Payment for a student/Winter SOMD/2016

Journey Through Outreach Part 2-Going Into North Africa

For those of you who haven't read the first half of my journey, you may want to start with my first part, "Going Into the Middle East" because there are some amazing stories of God's power and faithfulness, which I will continue to tell you about in this post. Again, for the safety of the long term missionaries, I can't go into detail or show pictures of exactly where I was or who I met.

I spent a total of 5 weeks in North Africa and it was one of the craziest but also most rewarding experiences of my life, definitely something I will never forget. We went into North Africa to teach English and make friends with refugees, as well as work on a new English school in one of the refugee camps. Unfortunately our plans fell through, and we also experienced almost two weeks of pretty heavy rain that washed out a lot of the houses, since they are made out of sand and mud. The boys on our team helped put up a few relief tents for some of the people that lost their homes as well as lay down tile work so that the long term missionaries could have a kitchen in their common house. Us girls were able to clean the classrooms in the English center and teach English to some of our friends during home visits, as well as in the classrooms in another camp. A typical day was spent immersing ourselves in culture, making dinner or washing our melfas (traditional dress), making friends, and praying for the refugees here. And of course making traditional tea. Lots and lots of tea.

During about half of our stay we lived with host families in the camps. My friend Zoe and I stayed with Sura (not her real name) and her family. The first week we stayed with them they killed a goat for us to welcome us into their family. They even graciously showed us pictures of them slaughtering the goat for us. They also gave us new melfas and Sura and her sister did our make up for us. We ate lunch around 2 and then rest during the hottest part of the day (around 110-120 degrees) from around 3-5 then we danced and made tea and had dinner around 10 or 11, did the dishes, and went to sleep on our mats under the stars.

One of the nights we spent with Sura, after she had finished the last of five daily prayers to Allah, we asked her if we could pray with her and ask Isa (Jesus) to give us dreams. She said yes, so we prayed and then fell asleep. Early the next morning we asked her if she had any dreams and she said yes! She said that she had dreamt of a huge lion who was following her around. We asked her if it was a good lion and she said "oh yes, he was a very good lion, but every time I look at him he would walk away." Zoe and I asked our friend Timmy what he thought about the dream and he said that it was Jesus and He wants her to follow Him, that's why He walked away! So Zoe and I were able to tell her that the lion in her dream was Isa and He wants her to follow Him, and she seemed excited about it. We had several other amazing talks with her and at one point I gave her my testimony about how God changed my heart and helps me to trust people, because that was something she struggled with. She listend to our worship music with us and we talked many times about the differences of following Islam and loving God. She even asked if she could read my bible on one of the last days. I'm very excited to watch God continue to draw her, and many others in, and I'm so grateful that He allowed me to be apart.

Another night Zoe and I decided it would be fun to make an "American" meal for our host family, so we asked Sura how many of her family members would be home and she said about 4-5 (she speaks fairly good English). So we bought enough food for 4-5 but while we were preparing our mashed potatoes and half a chicken, Sura's cousins and brothers came over and more and more of their friends until their were 13 people! Zoe and I looked at our 8 potatoes and half a chicken and decided to ask Jesus to multiply the food as we put in the pot. "And leftovers too!" we said as we put the two handfuls of potatoes into the boiling water. About 20 minutes later, Daisia (Sura's sister) took the pieces of potato out with a ladle and she just kept scooping and scooping! "There's more?" Zoe asked, "yes" Daisia said with a straight face. Zoe and I lost it. "That's soooo not how much I put in their dude." We were laughing so hard. Thank you Jesus. Then we were pouring and pouring the carton of milk to make our potatoes and Zoe grabbed it to hand to me so I could use the rest and realized that it was full! "Did you get a new milk??" she asked. "No, that's the one I've been using this whole time." I replied. We were so blown away by God's provision. We even had leftovers, just like we had asked. It really spoke to me and Zoe personally as we were both deciding whether we should continue with YWAM in a secondary school, even though we didn't see the funds, and this was one of the turning points in decided to trust God, because He alone is worthy and He really is provider. Even of potatoes and milk. :)

I have many more stories like these and would love to share with you! Please message me or leave me a comment and I'd love to tell you more. Thank you so much for your interest and support. Love you all!

Journey Through Outreach Part 1-Going Into the Middle East

Hi everyone! I'm back! :) Sorry it took me so long to post anything, life has been slightly crazy, but I'm so excited to share with all of you what took place during my Outreach!

Ideally, I would love to sit down with each of you individually and tell you stories, and I'm hoping to talk to as many of you in person as possible, but I know that with me only being home for such a short time it would be very difficult to do that, so here are some of the highlights and if you would like to hear more I'd be MORE than happy to share! (Also I really would love to know what's going on in your life :) Also for the safety of the long term missionaries working in the places I went to, I can only share certain details privately, so definitely contact me for that.

Part One of Outreach-The Middle East
So I can't post publicly where I was specifically here, but our main purpose for this 3 week portion of the trip was to be out in community; making friends and building trust among this closed nation. One of our main purposes (as a first step to introducing them to the love of Jesus) was to put a "good taste" in their mouths of American's, which to them translates to "Christians". Much like in their nation they assume since you live in the Middle East you are Muslim, they assume that since we are Americans we follow the teachings of "the Injil" which is the Arabic word for the Bible.

I have two memories that really stand out, the first being that me and a few of my team members went out one night and made a few friends at a coffee shop, we exchanged WhatsApp's and planned to hang out the following Monday night. We had planned to go to the beach but when the day came it ended up raining so my new friend Burnda (not her real name) asked us to come to her house, so we all shoved into a taxi and headed to our first home visit! When we got there they showed us some music they were writing and asked us to write with them (most of us that went were in the Worship Track in school back in Florida). So of course we said yes! I prayed and asked God to give me words to sing and out came "Lead me into everlasting, everlasting with you. Because I don't want to leave your side." And my friend Sarah wrote "You say I'm beautiful and You love me so, so I say You're beautiful and I love You so. Our new friends loved the lyrics to our new "love song" and had us record it with them and they added a rap to it. It was such a crazy experience and I prayed that those words would wash over their hearts and Jesus would lead them into Everlasting with Him. I still keep in contact with those friends I made and will continue to love on them.

Another amazing experience I had in the Middle East was when we were eating at a waffle shop and our server had a pretty severe limp. My friend Sarah and I asked her about it and she said it was swollen and she had sprained it, so I told her (through a translator app on her phone) that I believed that Isa (the Arabic word for Jesus) was a healer and  if I could ask Him to heal her ankle. She nodded yes and Sarah and I prayed over her and told the swelling to go down in Jesus name. I then asked her to walk on it and her face exploded with joy. She was immediately healed and began jumping up and down and typed in her translator "how??". I was almost in tears at this point and I replied simply with shaky hands, Isa (Jesus) is healer and He loves you very much so He healed you." Over the next few days she brought other sick or hurting co-workers to us as we'd stop by to pray for them and we saw several more healing after that. You could feel the Holy Spirit dwelling in that place, and later we realized the name of the waffle shop was called "Ab'bas". I still keep in contact with Lydia (not her real name) and will continue to show her the love Jesus has for her.